And the Oscar goes to...

I'm a big movie buff. I watch all kinds of movies, romance, drama, comedy, thriller. Neflix is the best thing since sliced bread for me. Case in point, I spent Sunday afternoon watching a strange film about an Eskimo called "The Map o f the Human Heart." I did shut it off because the directing was so horrible and I just couldn't keep watching though. I have to admit that I have daydreamed about winning an Oscar,who would be my date and what I would say.

I watched the Oscars last night with my friend Dawn. Here are my impressions.

I thought Hugh Jackman was very charming and fun as the host. I knew he was quite a singer, but man can he dance too! No wonder he was the sexiest man alive last year. I laughed a lot at the opening number, but maybe mostly because I've made sets out of PVC and cardboard.

I was a little sad that Michelle Williams was not at the awards with the Ledger family. I hope it was her choice and not because of hard feelings. And I felt bad for Michael Shannon, Josh Brolin, Robert Downey Jr, and Philip Seymour Hoffman cause they didn't stand a chance.

I was not surprised that Slumdog Millionaire won winning so many awards. It was a wonderful story with just enough sadness and edge to make it something that the academy would like. I guess I just wonder what if any impact the film will have on what people (including me) will do about India. The fact that they brought as many of the cast to the awards as they could was so very cool.


I liked how they used 5 former winners to present awards. It was wonderful to watch Cuba Gooding Jr give Robert Downey Jr a hard time and to hear Shirley McLaine give Anne Hathaway a heart felt piece of encouragement.

I think that the little boys that played in Slumdog Millionaire should have been chosen as best actor not Sean Penn.

Mickey Rourke. I'm glad that he's made a comeback, but how Hollywood of them to laud him now and kick him when he was down.

My favorite dresses: Natalie Portman, Freida Pinto, Anne Hathaway.

So that's some of what I thought...you have anything to say?

Hey...vote!

Hey all 6 of you out there! Vote on Best Picture! I'm curious to see what you think. I'll tell you what I think after Saturday and the all day Best Picture Marathon I'm going to. Or, maybe you think once again the best picture got overlooked. Comment and tell me!

Whatcha reading?

I love to read. I usually have a couple things going at a time. Lately, I use it to distract me while I'm on the eliptical. It keeps me from thinking, "30 more minutes, 29 more minutes, 28 more minutes." So I was wondering what you're reading.

Here's what I'm reading:

Recently finished

"Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. His theories on why some people are successful and others are not. It's been the source of several interesting conversations.

"Testimony" by Anita Shreve. Disturbing look at a sex scandal at a private school in New Hampshire.

"Healing Stones" by Nancy Rue. This is her series that she co-wrote with Steve Arteburn where one of the main characters is a counselor. In this one he's dealing with a female college professor who gets caught in an affair.

Reading Now
"Sarah's Key" by Tatiana de Rosnay. This story is told from a modern day and a historical perspective about the French police Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup of Jews in 1942. Told in tandem by an American reporter and a young Jewish girl.

"Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson. I actually started this book before Todd made it a "must read" at church.

"The 4:8 Principle" by Tommy Newberry. About the power that Philippians 4:8 can bring into your life as you live it.

On Deck:

"Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Piccoult
"Savannah" by John Jakes
"Fame" by Karen Kingsbury
"Sex God" Rob Bell

To answer your question

So this weekend the Student Ministry at our church had their annual Elevation Weekend. We bring in a speaker and a band and the kids get to hang out with their friends and a college leader at homes of people in the church (brave people....actually blessed people) . This year's theme is Stripped Away and it centered on the life of Job.

For those of you who don't know the story, Job was someone who may have been considered God's favorite. He was a righteous man and a blessed man. So, Satan and God had a conversation about Job. Satan was certain that if everything was stripped away from Job that he would curse God. So, God let Satan have his way with Job. One by one all the things of value in Job's life were taken. His livelihood, his possessions, his family, his health were all pulled out from under him. And Job fell into despair. At first he handled it ok, but after a while it got under his skin and he started questioning God in a most demanding way. At that point God stepped in and made it very clear who He was and who Job was not.

I certainly can relate to Job. I'm definitely not saying that I am God's favorite or that I'm righteous. But I've had my share of suffering. My story in a nutshell is this, my dad died when I was in 7th grade, my sisters both died of breast cancer before I graduated from college, my mom died in 2001. About three years ago I thought I was going to be married and he dumped me and left me with a huge amount of debt that I incurred while he was unemployed. Within the past five months, I found my job ending, was diagnosed with cancer, had a hysterectomy and now am undergoing radiation. I'd say Stripped Away describes it.

Both Keith the speaker and Jenny the lead singer of the band asked me the same question and I don't know if I sufficiently answered it. "How is it that you're not angry?" I have to say that I have no answers to the big question of "why" but anger is not what I feel. Confusion yes. Fear sometimes. Despair occassionally. I went through a ton of anger at God and everyone surrounding the dumping incident, so much so that it stole my joy. I was miserable and miserable to be around. If I wasn't crying I was stewing and storming. Off to counseling I went. And it's been a ton of work and a ton of prayer, but the angry went away. When the job ended, the anger started to resurface. When the diagnosis came I knew that I did not want to turn back into that person that I had become as a result of the dumping and so I chose surrender instead of control. Keith said something tonight about the difference between asking God questions and demanding answers. When I got dumped, I demanded answers and it brought me nothing but misery because I don't think God heard me. (Now I have nothing Biblical to back that up, that just my explanation for the difference) But with this I have been asking questions and he has answered me not with the whys but with an immense outpouring of love, tons of peace and unspeakable joy.

Now, I'm just hopeful that God will do for me as he did for Job. Job received all that he had taken away 10 fold. But just like one of my favorite songs says, "there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes, still I will praise you."

At least that's my answer today. I pray that it continues to be.

Valentine's Day

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I used to really, really hate this holiday. As a single lady (do you hear Beyonce in your head when you read that phrase? I do) I used to hate being the only one in the office who didn't get flowers on Valentine's day. When I was in school, I never got those carnations that they used to sell (do they still do that in high school?) And I used to just be miserable, bemoaning the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend. But I think the fact that the only time I got a Valentine's gift I had to give the guy the money to go buy for me it sort of put a pale on the whole thing. Maybe someday I'll meet a guy who can afford to buy me something nice, I certainly wouldn't turn it down, but if not, I'm okay with that too. I guess I've entered into a sort of truce with this holiday. It exists but I don't have to let it affect me. Now, I say that this year, let's hope that's where I stay.

Thankfully, I don't need a holiday to know that I am loved. I have two brothers who are wonderful in their unique ways. Certainly in the past 5 months since my diagnosis and my treatment, I have felt more loved than I am pretty sure I deserve. I have received gifts, cards, meals, evenings out, calls and so many other things that were expressions of love to me. But the most precious thing I have received over these months has been prayer. When people tell you, "We pray for you every night," and you see the sincerity in their eyes, that is love and that is humbling.

I'm in study of Romans right now, in it is the most powerful truth about love. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That's a love that isn't based off how popular I am or how pretty I am or how successful I am. Here is a holy and perfect God not forgetting we're a sinful mess but sending Christ to die to take care of our sinful mess. That's love. That's hope. That's joy. That's peace. That's better than any box of chocolates, roses, or Valentine I could ever get.

Radiation and such

So, I'm on day 10 of radiation treatments. So far, so good as the saying goes. It's amazing how routine it quickly becomes. I've been pretty free of side effects, other than I think it's affecting my brain, I swear. I've become even more forgetful! Case in point, last Tuesday I was clothes shopping since I had a job interview and none of my clothes fit. (both of those are fodder for other posts) I had on my favorite purple Sarah Palinesque glasses, the one I have on in this pic. Well somewhere between Ross and Kohls and Shoppers (had to get groceries too) I lost them. Here's the bad part, the part that makes me think this whole radiation thing is messing with my brain. I didn't notice that I didn't have them until the next morning when I was getting ready to leave the house for the SECOND time that day. AUGH! Then a couple days later I was headed to breakfast with a friend and started to go to a completely different restaurant than we had agreed on. I completely lost the first little card that the give you to check in with (yes, it's just like going to the gym, just scan your card) and I thought I lost the second one, but found it. So, if you ask me to do something and I blow you off, it's probably not you, it's my brain.

The other thing that I've taken to doing while I lay on the table and look at the landscape scene they have on the ceiling is praying for the people that are working on me. Of course, I didn't take to doing that until like day three. So if you've got a couple free minutes today around 12:30 and want to join me in praying for them, that would be great. Kristen, Ryan, Brian, Monica, Barbara, Dr. Gonzalez, Pam and...of course my radiation brain is slipping on the last one.

I got a bill from the hospital yesterday for my treatments. Holy heck! The bill I got goes only through my first two treatments. Everyone take a deep breath...$36,412. That's like a BMW or a year's salary. Maybe that's what my doctor will buy when he's done with all this. No wonder people go into bankruptcy over medical bills. I was very relieved when it said at the bottom of the bill pay this amount $0. Thank you God for insurance, though I know it won't cover 100% at least I won't have to sell my first born. (Oh that's right, I don't have a uterus anymore, so that's not an option!)

Here We Go Steelers, Here We Go!

So I watched the Super Bowl tonight...and the Steelers won! They certainly gave me cause to get nervous and when I get nervous, I bake! Don't ask me what I'm going to do with those cookies, but I took my first swipe at home made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.



I'm not a huge sports watcher. I'm a sports fan, I appreciate great sport whether it's football or gymnastics or biathalon (yeah that was the sport I did a report on in 10th grade English). In fact, I usually avoid watching games because I tend to watch the games where my team gets killed (this year's Rose Bowl a prime example) But tonight it we won and I actually watched the game. It was close, but the Steelers won their 6th SuperBowl.



I grew up in Pittsburgh during the 70's. Steel Curtain, Franco's Italian Army, Rocky Bleier, Terry Bradshaw and Chuck Noll. My brothers, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors were HUGE Steeler Fans. I think I watched my share of football as a kid.



Anyway, my biggest point in writing this is I found out that Mike Tomlin, the coach of the Steelers and protege of Tony Dungee is a Christian. And he attends the church that my college roommate's husband ist the youth pastor at! So, I'm still about as far removed from him as I was before I found that out, but I just thought it was a cool thing.



Check out this article on him:



http://www.bpnews.net/bpnews.asp?id=29752&ref=BPNews-RSSFeed0129



I'm happy for the people of Pittsburgh that the Steelers won their sixth SuperBowl. I'm even happier that a man of integrity is leading them.