It's been another six months since I wrote a post here! How am I EVER going to be discovered as a writer/blogger if I don't put it out there for people to see? ;-)
The last post I wrote was about the earthquake we had here in August. Honestly, those brief tremors were probably the last exciting thing that's happened to me this year. But, you know after the past couple years of jostling and shaking, I'm okay with that. Job loss, leaving my church family, moving for what seems the 60th time, cancer, money problems, family illness--they've all been a part of the previous years. So, I guess a lack of excitement has its perks. But it also has its risks. It makes me think some very foolish and dangerous things, like:
1. I'm okay
2. Life is predictable
3. I have everything under control
4. I don't really need to rely on anyone else, including God
5. Safety and security is all that matters
6. God is finished with using me
7. The most important person in my life is me
And the list could go on and on (add your own in comments if you like).
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the respite. But I also know that it won't remain this way and I shouldn't desire for it to be so. The thriving organism is the organism that is changing and adapting. So, as I think about this coming year, I am looking forward in anticipation to what tremors and jostles this life might bring me. I am ready for my risky thoughts to be like this:
1. What can I do to bless others?
2. What can I do to change things near and far from me?
3. How does God want to leverage my uniqueness for His glory?
4. What is the new thing that God wants me to do, experience, see this year?
5. How can I persevere and, even better, shine in the midst of where he has me now?
6. How can I let go of my grip on it all and trust God more.
I hope you'll join me in responding to some of these questions. May we all be more of what we were designed to be this year.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
So yesterday was the a gorgeous day. The icky humidity was gone, we woke up to temperatures in the 50's and a gleaming blue sky.
About 20 to 30 minutes before 2 PM, my cat got really whiny. She sat at the window and cried. Then she went down the stairs to the door and cried. Finally she went and hid under the bed.
I was at my desk trying to get some work accomplished when it happened. We live near Quantico, so to have the windows rattle isn't unusual. That was my first thought, Quantico was really going at it. Then, I thought maybe Dale had some kind of big truck at his construction site outside. Then I realized, freak, it's an earthquake!!! I jumped out of my chair and ran for the door jam. Then I thought, I'm on the second floor, maybe not so safe! So, I dashed down the stairs and out the door and away from the building. Everyone who was on the property was abuzz. What was it? Was it an earthquake? Jennifer, who lived in CA for a long while, said she'd never experienced anything like it out there. Rachael wanted me to check the internet, but I'd left my phone in my apartment. So, I reluctantly went back up the stairs and Googled earthquakes. It took me to the USGS and the fact that the quake had been a 5.8 and was centered near Mineral, VA. In Virginia? A 5.8? I knew Mineral was somewhere out 522 toward Culpeper.
Facebook blew up with exclamations of "was that really an earthquake?" And the news people were all completely rattled (like my pun). Rumors abounded, the weirdest one, the Washington Monument was leaning. It turned out that there is a crack at the top of "the national pen," as I have heard kids called it, and it's closed for the time being. As the day went on we heard of damage in Culpeper and even an apartment complex in DC that was structurally compromised. At my house, as far I can tell the only impact on my place was a drawer and a cabinet thrown open. Of course, the exodus from DC was hellacious, but like that would be surprising at all.
Then I got an e-mail from Pete. They evacuated his building. In Pittsburgh! Really? The red circle on the news just grew and grew. It was felt from GA to Chicago to Nova Scotia.
Then last night at about 8 PM, the first aftershock. It was just a second, but definitely was there. It was 4.2. And I was pretty sure I felt one after I went to bed last night. The news confirmed it, 12:45 AM around a 3.
I know people who live on the west coast that think we're being silly to freak out so much about this quake. But holy heck, nothing like this has happened here since the 1800s! Definitely not a disaster, just a little shake up to an otherwise normal day.
About 20 to 30 minutes before 2 PM, my cat got really whiny. She sat at the window and cried. Then she went down the stairs to the door and cried. Finally she went and hid under the bed.
I was at my desk trying to get some work accomplished when it happened. We live near Quantico, so to have the windows rattle isn't unusual. That was my first thought, Quantico was really going at it. Then, I thought maybe Dale had some kind of big truck at his construction site outside. Then I realized, freak, it's an earthquake!!! I jumped out of my chair and ran for the door jam. Then I thought, I'm on the second floor, maybe not so safe! So, I dashed down the stairs and out the door and away from the building. Everyone who was on the property was abuzz. What was it? Was it an earthquake? Jennifer, who lived in CA for a long while, said she'd never experienced anything like it out there. Rachael wanted me to check the internet, but I'd left my phone in my apartment. So, I reluctantly went back up the stairs and Googled earthquakes. It took me to the USGS and the fact that the quake had been a 5.8 and was centered near Mineral, VA. In Virginia? A 5.8? I knew Mineral was somewhere out 522 toward Culpeper.
Facebook blew up with exclamations of "was that really an earthquake?" And the news people were all completely rattled (like my pun). Rumors abounded, the weirdest one, the Washington Monument was leaning. It turned out that there is a crack at the top of "the national pen," as I have heard kids called it, and it's closed for the time being. As the day went on we heard of damage in Culpeper and even an apartment complex in DC that was structurally compromised. At my house, as far I can tell the only impact on my place was a drawer and a cabinet thrown open. Of course, the exodus from DC was hellacious, but like that would be surprising at all.
Then I got an e-mail from Pete. They evacuated his building. In Pittsburgh! Really? The red circle on the news just grew and grew. It was felt from GA to Chicago to Nova Scotia.
Then last night at about 8 PM, the first aftershock. It was just a second, but definitely was there. It was 4.2. And I was pretty sure I felt one after I went to bed last night. The news confirmed it, 12:45 AM around a 3.
I know people who live on the west coast that think we're being silly to freak out so much about this quake. But holy heck, nothing like this has happened here since the 1800s! Definitely not a disaster, just a little shake up to an otherwise normal day.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monticello
Yesterday afternoon when I got to Charlottesville, I decided I would head over to Monticello and take some pictures. It's my second time visiting the house. Thomas Jefferson was an amazing man. Fluent in seven languages, a scientist, an architect, an inventor, a visionary. There's certainly no one like him in government today. Here's a few pictures I took on the grounds. The gardens are beautiful. First the flowers....
I didn't know that's what asparagus looks like!
And look who greeted me on my way back to the house!
I'm a Traveling Woman
Part of June and all of July has been life in motion for me. It started with a couple trips to Baltimore for work, which also allowed me to see my best friend Kelly. Then I got to travel to Texas and Oklahoma for Emily Simpson's wedding. Emily is the middle daughter of my former boss. I love each of those girls so much and I was so glad to get to see them and spend some time with them. I also got to hang for five days with my dear friend Cindy and some of her family. Cindy left me to move to Spokane like four years ago. I miss her smile and laugh so much.
I spent the first 10 days of July in Charlottesville, dog sitting. I'm starting to be able to navigate around town without my GPS. I was home for a couple days and then went to Pittsburgh for my family reunion. It was nice to see my aunts and uncles and cousins. It's sure a reminder that time is forever on the move though. I remember when I was the amongst the young crowd and now my cousins and I are all showing that those days are past us. I also got to spend some time with my best friend from high school and go to a Pirate game with my twin brother Pete. PNC Park is a stunning field, but it was the first time it felt brimming with excitement. The Pirates are winning this season for the first time in a long time. I still don't really know any of the players names like I did back in the 70's and 80's, but it was fun to watch them win in extra innings after a lengthy rain delay.
Then I came home for a couple more days and headed to Wilmington, NC to visit some friends. It had been seven years since I'd seen the Jeremias family and even longer since I'd been at their home in Wilmington. Boy, was that choice a mistake. It was so good to bask in the joy of their company. Got to say, I think I could live there: the opportunity to go to a beach every day if you wanted, a quaint downtown area, friends close by, and most importantly, a Target. ;-). I came home for a couple days and now I'm back in Charlottesville, chilling with the puppies.
I am really grateful to have a job where doing this is so possible. I have been able to work my regular hours and just take a couple of my vacation days to make this happen. I've even been able to keep most of my guitar students and lead worship on Sundays. I think for the most part, after this week, August will be stationary, but I have kind of liked being a traveling woman. Anyone want a visitor?
I spent the first 10 days of July in Charlottesville, dog sitting. I'm starting to be able to navigate around town without my GPS. I was home for a couple days and then went to Pittsburgh for my family reunion. It was nice to see my aunts and uncles and cousins. It's sure a reminder that time is forever on the move though. I remember when I was the amongst the young crowd and now my cousins and I are all showing that those days are past us. I also got to spend some time with my best friend from high school and go to a Pirate game with my twin brother Pete. PNC Park is a stunning field, but it was the first time it felt brimming with excitement. The Pirates are winning this season for the first time in a long time. I still don't really know any of the players names like I did back in the 70's and 80's, but it was fun to watch them win in extra innings after a lengthy rain delay.
Then I came home for a couple more days and headed to Wilmington, NC to visit some friends. It had been seven years since I'd seen the Jeremias family and even longer since I'd been at their home in Wilmington. Boy, was that choice a mistake. It was so good to bask in the joy of their company. Got to say, I think I could live there: the opportunity to go to a beach every day if you wanted, a quaint downtown area, friends close by, and most importantly, a Target. ;-). I came home for a couple days and now I'm back in Charlottesville, chilling with the puppies.
I am really grateful to have a job where doing this is so possible. I have been able to work my regular hours and just take a couple of my vacation days to make this happen. I've even been able to keep most of my guitar students and lead worship on Sundays. I think for the most part, after this week, August will be stationary, but I have kind of liked being a traveling woman. Anyone want a visitor?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Contentment and Desire
One of the things I struggle with is contentment. In the Bible, Paul tells us that we are to be "content in every circumstance." It's so hard sometimes though, not to desire more.
I spent last week in Charlottesville, dog sitting for a friend. Since my job allows me to work from anywhere, it affords me to such things. (However, my cat doesn't really agree with that choice.) The family I help out lives in a gated community, just outside of town. The homes sit in rolling hills and lots of trees. The dogs are well behaved and require relatively little attention: some food, a walk, and a little play makes them happy. The house is large and I find myself feeling very small in it. I'm pretty sure the bathroom and closet area is about as big as the apartment I had on Van Buren Street in Fredericksburg.
When I stay in places like this, that's when my "I want a house." desire kicks in. I don't think it's a bad desire to have or to work toward. But my question lies in where does the line between contentment and ambition become a problem? I can't say my desire for a house isn't at least a little bit about my comfort and feeling like I have accomplished something. I mean, it's the American dream isn't it? I really like where I'm living now, the Glasgows are wonderful people, my apartment is cozy, and they have allowed me to "make it my own." There's no real reason to move. And I don't see it changing anytime soon, outside becoming the next J K Rowling or winning the MegaMillions, but I have found myself more and more looking at homes and just wishing. Even though I know the responsibility factor kicks up about a million percent, I still find it happening.
Now is the time for my contentment check. Am I content in where God has me overall? Is this desire just a manifestation of discontentment in another area of my heart. It's then that I have to remember to take stock of the abundance that I DO have. I do have so much more than most people. More than I need really. Also, do I desire my relationship with the Lord as much as I desire the "stuff" of this world. Hmm..that's the humbling question isn't it?
I spent last week in Charlottesville, dog sitting for a friend. Since my job allows me to work from anywhere, it affords me to such things. (However, my cat doesn't really agree with that choice.) The family I help out lives in a gated community, just outside of town. The homes sit in rolling hills and lots of trees. The dogs are well behaved and require relatively little attention: some food, a walk, and a little play makes them happy. The house is large and I find myself feeling very small in it. I'm pretty sure the bathroom and closet area is about as big as the apartment I had on Van Buren Street in Fredericksburg.
When I stay in places like this, that's when my "I want a house." desire kicks in. I don't think it's a bad desire to have or to work toward. But my question lies in where does the line between contentment and ambition become a problem? I can't say my desire for a house isn't at least a little bit about my comfort and feeling like I have accomplished something. I mean, it's the American dream isn't it? I really like where I'm living now, the Glasgows are wonderful people, my apartment is cozy, and they have allowed me to "make it my own." There's no real reason to move. And I don't see it changing anytime soon, outside becoming the next J K Rowling or winning the MegaMillions, but I have found myself more and more looking at homes and just wishing. Even though I know the responsibility factor kicks up about a million percent, I still find it happening.
Now is the time for my contentment check. Am I content in where God has me overall? Is this desire just a manifestation of discontentment in another area of my heart. It's then that I have to remember to take stock of the abundance that I DO have. I do have so much more than most people. More than I need really. Also, do I desire my relationship with the Lord as much as I desire the "stuff" of this world. Hmm..that's the humbling question isn't it?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Early Morning Texts and Hurting People
This morning about 7:15AM I was awakened by the Sherwood Forest trumpet that is my text message notification. Reluctantly and with some trepidation, I rolled out of bed to check the message thinking it was a friend with a prayer request or Sharon wanting to tell me something about the farm. But, it was a number I didn't know from the "931" area code with simple and innocuous salutation, "hey." My first thought was, "this must be some poor girl that slept someone they didn't really know and is reaching out." I am not sure why I thought that. I guess the hour of the morning and the greeting made brought that to mind.
I wasn't sure if I should respond or what to respond with. Finally, I responded with, "Who is this?" Part of my orginal thought was confirmed when she responded, "Ashley who is this?"
I suddenly put myself in her shoes, now she's panicked. The person she thought would respond warmly immediately didn't know who she was. Not sure what to say, I replied, "Chris...I think you have a wrong number."
This is where this gets strange, and shows this person's hurt even clearer, "Are you married." Now I'm thinking this girl has definitely slept with someone who gave her a bogus number. Since often "Chris" is often assumed to be a guy, I thought I'd clarify.
"I am a woman and I think someone gave you a wrong number."
Here's the "shake your head, sigh, and wonder how hurting this person must be" part of the story. She replied "this person told me you like women also."
My first instinct was to chastise whom I suddenly thought must be a teenager on a dare of some kind. My second instinct was not to dignify the question with an answer. So I didn't respond. My third instinct was to turn to the internet and see if I could at least figure out where this person was. I used a reverse look up to locate the person in TN.
Here's the really amazing part, she asked the question AGAIN.
The "mom" in me really wanted to chastise this girl for her rudeness, but I simply replied, "No. You have a wrong number."
I haven't heard from her since, thankfully.
As I have thought about this incident in the couple hours since, it caused me to post on Twitter, "You know, there's a lot of hurting people out there, say a prayer for them today." I know I am making a lot of mental leaps about this person who randomly "sexted" me this morning, about her age, her situation, her upbringing, but the one thing I do know for certain, this person is hurting. I'm pretty sure once I'd figured out I had a wrong number, I would have said I was sorry and stopped texting. But this person was so messed up inside that her hurt and embarrassment caused her to press into the "conversation." Wow. Hurt makes people do a crazy things.
So, Ashley, whoever and wherever you are, you were prayed for this morning. I prayed that God would make himself real to you and your hurt would find the Healer.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
All the Stars in the Sky
Last night I went out to Bible study at MABC. When I pulled in the driveway afterward and got out of the car, my breath was nearly taken away. The sky was brimming with stars! I almost always see Orion, but last night there were so many! It must have been a new moon. The sky was black and there was no moonlight to hide the stars. We live in a rural area, but not that far from town, so those lights mess with it too.
Last night though, it was like looking at a bowl full of sequins. So many of them sparkling and shining. Orion, the Big and Little Dippers, Pleiades. I saw so many of the constellations I had learned growing up (my elementary school had a planetarium). It just made me smile to see God's creation on such glorious display. I kept saying "Wow! Thank you God," over and over again. I could have stayed out there a long time, if I hadn't been a wimp about the cold. It made me think of this David Crowder song.
You should see the stars tonight
How they shimmer, shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Comin' down from such a height
To reach me now, reach me now
You should see the moon in the flight
Cuttin' across the misty night
Softly dancin' in sunshine
Reflections of this light
Reach me now, you reach me now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything beautiful again?
And you should feel the sun in the spring
Comin' out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything
I can feel it now, I feel you now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything beautiful?
And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered round their king
More beautiful than you could dream
I've been quietly listening
Can hear 'em now, can hear 'em now
And how could such a king
Shine his light on me
And make everything beautiful
And I wanna shine, I wanna be light
I wanna tell you it'll be alright
And I wanna shine and I wanna fly
Just to tell you now it'll be alright
It'll be alright, it'll be alright
'Coz I got nothing of my own to give to you
But this light that shines on me shines on you
And makes everything beautiful again
It'll be alright, it'll be alright
I guess it just reminded me of how small I am, but yet how loved I am. Wow, thank you God! Thank you that you make everything beautiful. That you let that light shine on me last night. That the light of your love and grace shines every day on me, when I don't deserve it. Thank you.
Last night though, it was like looking at a bowl full of sequins. So many of them sparkling and shining. Orion, the Big and Little Dippers, Pleiades. I saw so many of the constellations I had learned growing up (my elementary school had a planetarium). It just made me smile to see God's creation on such glorious display. I kept saying "Wow! Thank you God," over and over again. I could have stayed out there a long time, if I hadn't been a wimp about the cold. It made me think of this David Crowder song.
You should see the stars tonight
How they shimmer, shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Comin' down from such a height
To reach me now, reach me now
You should see the moon in the flight
Cuttin' across the misty night
Softly dancin' in sunshine
Reflections of this light
Reach me now, you reach me now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything beautiful again?
And you should feel the sun in the spring
Comin' out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything
I can feel it now, I feel you now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me
And make everything beautiful?
And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered round their king
More beautiful than you could dream
I've been quietly listening
Can hear 'em now, can hear 'em now
And how could such a king
Shine his light on me
And make everything beautiful
And I wanna shine, I wanna be light
I wanna tell you it'll be alright
And I wanna shine and I wanna fly
Just to tell you now it'll be alright
It'll be alright, it'll be alright
'Coz I got nothing of my own to give to you
But this light that shines on me shines on you
And makes everything beautiful again
It'll be alright, it'll be alright
I guess it just reminded me of how small I am, but yet how loved I am. Wow, thank you God! Thank you that you make everything beautiful. That you let that light shine on me last night. That the light of your love and grace shines every day on me, when I don't deserve it. Thank you.
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